Do you have items in your house that simply vanish? You know, things that seem to mysteriously disappear from one day to the next, or alternatively, items so rarely encountered in your house, that they probably should be classified as critically endangered species or even as extinct?
There are a number of these items in our household. Here is a short but definitive list:
- Pencil sharpeners. We buy them and two days later, they’re gone. I guess they just curl up and die.
- Safety pins. There are no safety pins in our house. Ever.
- Socks. Yes, I know. It happens to you, too. The washing machine eats them, aliens abduct them, they teleport out of the dirty clothes basket in search of a better life. Missing socks are one of Life’s Great Mysteries.
- Chocolate. Estimated survival time of a block of chocolate in our house: .000000023 seconds.
- Can openers. This week the can opener disappeared. Go figure.
- Pens that work. Every year, I spend a lot of time at the Alice Springs Show and other Expos, helping myself to promotional pens in the hope that I will never have to buy another pen. It does not work!
- Indelible Markers. You know, the pens that you can write on CD labels and other plastic surfaces with. There is something in our house that destroys even the sub-atomic particles of these things. Gone. Ka-poof!
- My left hand weights glove. Please come home. I won’t ask any questions, I promise.
Do you have items that VANISH miraculously? Then let me know.
Who knows? I could publish a paper on what things disappear most commonly and why.
P.S. The picture of Gary has absolutely nothing to do with this post whatsoever. I just thought it would be an amusing post header.